any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
