Having a random hookup so left but love u
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
