i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
