Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
