when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
They have beer where we have blood.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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