ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she peed on how many people?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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