She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
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i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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