So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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