If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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