The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
3 2 1 whiskey
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
