weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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