I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
