nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
