I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
