what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
