I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize