I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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