So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
