I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
