I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He better not be in your backpack
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
