So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
