She is in my trunk
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
barbara walters just said penis...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
