how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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