conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
