sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
