he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
