your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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