That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
