So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
