oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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