Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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