I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
