My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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