I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
