there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize