whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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