girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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