i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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