you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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