I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Randomize
