Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize