Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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