honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
