Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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