Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
