Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
