Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
