you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
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If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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