I'm gonna have a badass scar
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
