Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm passing your future prison.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
