No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize