apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
