Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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