Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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