Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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