your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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