so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I got inside last night via doggy door
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