I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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