Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
