in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
