I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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