your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Let's get the cat blown out
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
