so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
