the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
