you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I need water and some morals
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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