As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i dont even know how to be here
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
