O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
