i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
