Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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