Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
