I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
