I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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