So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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