oh god the rape fog is back!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
