omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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