Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have feelings that need drinking.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
